No babies, anytime soon | NESHEAHOLIC

Thursday, October 29, 2009

No babies, anytime soon

As life continues post-wedding/honeymoon, the most asked question I get, second to "How was the honeymoon?," is some variation of "When are you going to have babies?"

My answers are: "No children in our 3 year plan," "I'm afraid of babies" & "I don't really want kids."

As far as the three year plan goes, we have one more year of renting, then we want to maybe buy a house w/i the next year after that, and at least have a year in that new house before we go making any offspring. Ideally there won't be any children popping out until we've been settled a couple years into the house we buy.

I am, literally, afraid of babies. Toddlers I can handle, but infants/newborns scare the ba-jezus out of me. They seem so fragile. Everyone always says how babies are probably more resilient than adults, but I'm so afraid to hurt their little bones and organs. I mean their necks need to be supported since they have no neck muscles yet, they can't sit up, its just too much for me. My niece, who is now almost two, when she was a baby and I was visiting home I either couldn't sleep, or I was up every hour looking at her in her crib to make sure her little chest was rising and falling.

At this point in my life, I don't really want kids. Outside of them scaring me, I just don't have a desire to have a child. I'm still pretty young, and probably in a few years as my biological clock is ticking louder I'll start to feel a "mommy twinge" but right now I'm not at all interested in children. I'm focused on career and building up my relationship with my new husband. Many will say that it is selfish for a woman not to want to have a child because she is focused on herself or career. I guess I can kind of see where that mentality can come from but I know myself, and I know where my priorities lie currently. I can't see why I should be faulted for having a preference of not wanting a child.

Motherhood is a HUGE responsibility, and just like many other things in life, I don't think it is something to rush into at all, even if society says your baby oven is what makes you a "real woman."

To the mothers out there, MAJOR PROPS to you. You are obviously real life super women. I won't be joining your club any time soon, I'm still getting a handle on managing career, housekeeping, and one other life outside my own (my husband).
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  1. OMG Neshe I totally feel you!! I mean you just got married...like literally 2 weeks ago!! I remember folks asking at the actual wedding about babies and in all honesty bothered the hell out of me. Imma need for folks to give you time to enjoy your new husband and the life you are both creating for the just the two of you. Besides you are still VERY young and have time before even thinking about starting a family. It's crazy of people to be asking you guys that question already. I swear if I get married...the first person to ask me that question is getting cussed out!! lol

    Oh yeah...and newborns scare the hell out of me...I can't get comfortable with a baby until they are at LEAST 5/6 months...because by that time they have grown some bones and fat lol...

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