Helping = Maturity? | NESHEAHOLIC

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Helping = Maturity?

I have found myself on many occasions fortunate enough to have people willing to make exceptions for me; bend rules to afford an opportunity to me, create positions so that I could work, cash in debts on my behalf. I now find myself almost aching to do the same thing for others, but don’t have the means. There are so many people I would like to help with employment and resources, but I am no where near in a position to do so. That irks me! So many people have given me the gift of assistance that I want to give it back to others. For right now I’ll do what I can. Maybe I can’t give them money, but I’ll volunteer for them. Maybe I can’t hook them up with a job but I’ll help them with a resume, or list myself as a reference. I do think that my wanting to help people like others have helped me is a sign of growing up. I think there are definitely stages of thankfulness and willingness to help that correlate to how much a person has grown.

Infancy - Give me! Give me!
This is the stage at which a person believes they are entitled to whatever they want, and all the help they want, not because of anything they have done, just because...

Toddler - I did good, where is my reward?
This is the stage at which a person does good things, but expects to be rewarded each and every time they do something.

Childhood - I’ve done good. Oh, you’d like to reward me? Thanks!
This is the stage at which a person works hard because they know they should, and is appreciative of all assistance and reward they receive.

Teenager - Thank you for all the help. Who can I help?
This is the stage where a person has received help, appreciates it, and wants to help others, but doesn’t quite have the resources.

Adult - I’m here to help, who needs it?
This is the stage where a person has received help, appreciated it, and is now helping others.

Senior - Who’s up next?
This is the stage where a person has received help, appreciated it, has helped others, and now wants to know who they can prepare to help others once they are gone.


I think as we get older the world becomes less and less about US, and more about what we can be to other people, and the legacy we can leave behind when we are gone.

Do you think that willingness to help and appreciation of help coincide with a person’s maturity as a person?
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8 comments

  1. This is about your ability to think more of others than you do of yourself. I think it can definitely be a sign of maturity. I think that's why I want to teach. Thinking about how I can invest in others like someone invested in me.

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  2. Ohhh I so agree with this point. I realize at 25 that I am still a little selfish and have my hand out a lot too often but I also noticed that I am becoming a lot more giving. I hope my stride continues to progress in the right direction

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  3. @ccarothers - Definitely. Teaching is the ultimate give back position.

    @Chanel - Yea, I still have some ways to go myself, it's all about continuing to progress.

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  4. I think once you have come to the point where you sit back and see your life through your minds eye and realize all the things that people did for you, Big or small, whether it was a vote of confidence, an listening ear, a bit of advice, or a monetary gift, and appreciate, that does one reach maturity. I feel that we as people are all gifts to one another and it should only be natural to want to help each other. Its a beautiful thing to see people helping one another. Great Post!

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  5. @Joe- I definitely agree. Thanks for coming by :-)

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  6. I think there are a lot of reasons people tend to help vs not helping. One of them may be age, wisdom and maturity. Another reason is just in the environment you grew up in. Some people may leave in a rough community where it's a struggle just to survive and they may grow up suspicious, paranoid and not trusting people. These issues may follow them into adulthood and even their senior years. But well adjusted people do tend to learn more openness as they get older. Some even become less giving as they get older and the cold cruel world squashes their dreams.

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  7. @Future Doctor - True, there are a lot of factors that could cause a person to be paranoid of helping other, which is sad.

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  8. I've got a suggestion for you for your next Youtube Tuesday. It's the Sesame Street "I like my hair" video. It's awesome. I don't know if you've seen it yet. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enpFde5rgmw

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