The Friend Zone | NESHEAHOLIC

Saturday, July 6, 2013

The Friend Zone



I don't believe in the friend zone. I don't like the concept. I feel like it is unfair to people's romantic wants and needs. There is no friend zone. You are either someone's friend or you're not. You may be someone's friend and you have romantic feelings for them but the other friend doesn't feel the same. While this isn't a comfortable position to be in, why should they feel bad about their feelings? They shouldn't.

I've been on all three sides of the coin... if a coin could have three sides. I've been the friend with one-way romantic feelings for another friend. It sucked. It hurt to see him go through relationships with different women when I had a flame burning for him, but I couldn't force his feelings.

I've been the friend who another friend had feelings for but I just didn't feel the same. This also sucked because I was made to feel bad for not reciprocating feelings for a nice guy. But "nice" doesn't always translate into "romantically attracted to."

I've been the friend who got into a relationship with a friend who I didn't have romantic feelings for because he was nice and everyone said he was good for me. This probably sucked the worst because the relationship was just as one sided as my affections and the friendship could never be reclaimed.

All the scenarios are not ideal. But no one should be made to feel bad about having or not having romantic feelings for someone.

What are your thoughts on "the friend zone?"
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4 comments

  1. I both disagree and agree with you.I disagree i the sense that: I think its perfectly normal for women & men to be friends (think co-workers, class mates, team mates ect), at that point its really common and normal. However I completely agree with you once it gets to a calling/texting stage, being in regular contact, then I suspect its one person falling for the other (and the potential dreaded "friend zone").
    I too have been on all sides of this 3-sided coin. Theres nothing to do or say, but give time, space and honesty.

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    Replies
    1. Oh I definitely think that men and women can be just friends.

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  2. I think it's conditional. No one is really ever "friend-zoned." I think it's just a category people make so that they can mentally make a decision about someone before they really weigh their thoughts. Like it's too embarrassing to admit that you like someone that you've known in a certain non-romantic way.

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  3. Aww man...I accidentally clicked away and my comment disappeared! Boo.

    Second attempt...

    All my years of watching television (and reading romantic fiction) has taught me that man and woman can NOT be "just friends" without one (eventually) developing some romantic feeling for the other. Ha!

    Seriously, I agree with the notion. But, only in regards to long-term, close relationships.

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