12/1/09 - 1/1/10 | NESHEAHOLIC

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Life is like a bag of popcorn

Life is like popping a bag of popcorn. Not only do you have to make decisions, but the timing of those decisions are also imperative. You don't want to wait too long to make a decision, burning your popcorn and ruining the "flavor" of your life. But you also don't want to decide to do things too quickly, leaving lots of un-popped kernels, or wasted potential. Once you've stopped the microwave and opened the bag, there's no going back - and once the popcorn is burnt, it's burnt.

Just like popping popcorn in the microwave, there is no magic "popcorn" setting (the popcorn button never pops the popcorn to perfection). You've got to listen as the kernels pop, until the popping is far apart, and then remove the bag. In life, you've got to keep your eyes and ears open to the opportunities in front of you. Being observant and patient, and timing your decision correctly.

Now we've just got to figure out the timing to give us perfectly popped popcorn.


Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A cure for your depression

I heard recently about an organization that takes "at risk" youth from the inner cities, those from low-income families and rundown neighborhoods in the U.S., to other countries, like Africa, to volunteer in the villages. The goal is to show them what "real" poverty is like. The purpose isn't to belittle their personal situation, but rather to show them that there are people out there who have it much worse. Most important, what volunteering also does for the inner city youth is give them a sense of worth. On a day to day basis they feel like they have nothing, but on their trip they are able to give to someone else, which definitely boosts self-esteem.

Under normal circumstances the last thing someone would think to do in order to deal with their own problems is help someone else with theirs. But there is an intrinsic value to being able to help someone else. Feeling down this holiday season? Not enough money for the gifts you want? Travel plans aren't coming together? Take the opportunity to make someone else smile. Something as simple as volunteering your time to help someone wrap gifts, or decorate their home. No time? You obviously have the Internet. Send someone an e-card who you know is having a rough time. It doesn't even have to be planned, help a mother with their stroller on the escalator at the mall, or help a grandmother carry her granddaughter's mini-convertible to her car. I guarantee you that being the facilitator of someone else's happiness will make you happier.

~Spread Joy~


Sunday, December 20, 2009

Gender roles and double standards

A gender role is defined as a set of perceived behavioral norms associated with males and females, in a given social group or system. It has occurred to me that no matter how much we try to move past it, gender roles are ingrained in us.

I'm all for gender equality in the workplace and such, this post is focused on the gender roles within the family and relationship structure.

I think many times women, or maybe I'll just speak for myself, don't want to be tied down to "woman's work" but we still want our man to take care of the "man's work." I can't scream for equality in what traditionally has been considered tasks of a woman, while not wanting to accept those that have been traditionally considered tasks of men. Men and women are different, we are meant to be different, and there is nothing wrong with that. My husband is outside shoveling snow and I plan on making dinner. I'm fine with that. I don't want to switch. And that doesn't make me any more or less of a "real" woman.

We can't escape gender roles, and I don't think there really is a need to. We're built differently and we have different biological/hormonal structure. We are made differently so that we compliment each other.


Monday, December 14, 2009

Non-Christians during Christmas time

I feel like being non-Christian around Christmas time must be like being Black all the time. What I mean by this is that during this season Christmas is default. The main decorations in malls and offices around the country are Christmas trees. Not many stop to place a menorah or kinara (for that matter, I've just realized that "kinara" isn't even listed as a word in the spell check on this computer). In December is when a non-Christian feels most intensely that they are a minority, or not part of the default.

I think I can accurately equate this to being of a minority race or person of color, on a regular basis. This has nothing to do with racism at all, but just the feeling of knowing that you are not in the majority, or not the default. In a simple thing like purchasing make-up, a dark skinned woman will find that the "regular" foundation is in a shade for white women, and that her color must be found in the "alternative" shades. On the same token, pagan celebrations, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa are all seen by the mainstream as "alternatives" to Christmas.

I'm trying to be mindful, more this year than I've probably ever been before (because of two new lovely Jewish co-workers) of being all-inclusive in my holiday cheer, saying "holiday" rather than "Christmas" and acknowledging the dates of other's holiday festivities. But, I can't help but be excited about my holiday, CHRISTMAS. It's a joyous occasion to celebrate the birth of my savior and I'd like to scream from the rooftops about him. My excitement stems from CHRISTMAS, my joy of the season comes from that. And all the other pretty notions of family, giving, love, etc. are subcategories to the birth of the Light.


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

You better care about politics

A lot of people say "I don't care about politics." You NEED to care about politics.

Register to vote, be informed, and vote in any election you can!

This is the problem.This is the reason that our politicians are walking all over us. We aren't informed, and we don't vote. (we being the collective/general "we") Specifically, if you are of color or a woman, do you know how much blood, sweat, and tears went into you getting the right to vote?! Don't waste it!

I'm not saying everyone should be out taking political science classes but read up on the issues every once in a while. I can't say that I am as well versed in politics as I should/could be, but I know its importance and I try to keep up.

You can't not care about politics! Decisions are being made about your future, and the future of your children, and you're just sitting by watching reality television (no offense to reality TV )

P.S.- Don't you dare complain about political policy and decisions if you aren't doing what you have been granted the ability to do in electing officials who represent your ideals. There is a lot of crookedness in politics, but we can do our best to keep things as straight as possible.


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

You could have had a Queen...

You search for a prince charming but you could have had a King.
You stripped him of his robes with foul words and a bitter heart.
Regressed him back to a frog because you were blinded by his staff rather than taking your seat at the thrown beside him.

You needed a Queen.
But instead you bred a princess, spoiling her with unkept promises.
Knocked off her crown with a Pinocchio nose after your lies turned her fairy tales into hell.


Saturday, December 5, 2009

Personal sins shouldn't require press releases

In a press release Tiger Woods stated "personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions."

This was in response to the overwhelming sentiment from the public and the media that he had to talk about the whole golf club to the back window - running into a fire hydrant -cheating accusation, incident.

I'd have to agree with Tiger on this. Personal/familial transgressions and problems shouldn't have to be talked about to feed the public's hunger for knowing everything about a celebrity or politician. A cheating spouse shouldn't be a public issue - it is between the married couple and their family- nor should it cause someone to lose endorsements (unless the endorser is something like a marriage counseling organization or something similar) or force them to step down from political office. Infidelity/adultery is a serious issue, but not something that should have to be made public when it doesn't affect the populace.

Now there is a line between what should be private and public for celebrities and public figures but I'm not sure where it lies. In the recent child molestation allegations surfacing about R & B singer Pleasure P, I feel like that is something that should be made public. I think the difference to me in this case is that child molestation is a crime, one of those crimes held at the highest of people's criminal hierarchy. I'm not sure if that is fair, but that's how I feel.

My public vs. private criteria:

Private: A politician cheats on his wife
Public: A politician cheats on his wife and writes off traveling expenses to his mistress as state spending

Private: A celeb has a car accident
Public: A celeb has a car accident and a dead body was found in their trunk after the accident

Yes, public figures put themselves in the public eye, but they are human like everybody else.


Friday, December 4, 2009


Love takes no account

If you do things out of love, do them purely in the name of love. Don't feign to do for love, but really do in anticipation of reward. Love keeps no tally, no ledger of what's given and received.

1 Corinthians 13, verse 4 & 5:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Thursday, December 3, 2009


There is something to be said about the times you do all you can, and still fail. That is a true test of personality, a true test of heart. When there is more that you can do, it's easy to have the "shoulda, coulda, woulda's" but when you've done all you can and you fail, what do you do? They always say that failure is never trying, but what about when you try hard, to no avail? It's a hard pill to swallow, a failure out of your control. You can say "Well, there was nothing more I can do," but that doesn't ease the heartache of failure.

How do you deal with failure out of your control?

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