6/1/11 - 7/1/11 | NESHEAHOLIC

Thursday, June 30, 2011

2nd Philly Natural Hair Meet-Up


Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Never give up: There are plenty of rings in the sea

At our first port of call (Grand Turk) during our honeymoon (Oct. '09) my husband and I hit the beach for some swimming. After we got out of the water he looks down at his bare ring finger and says "Oh 'shoot,' my wedding ring!" We sadly walked back to the beach so he could look around the water for it. I'm not a pessimistic person, but I told him to just forget about it. His ring came off in the Atlantic Ocean, what are the chances of finding a ring in the Atlantic Ocean? He went in the water to look, and I laid back in a beach chair to relax.

About 15 minutes later I hear him exclaim "I found it!" and I look up to see him holding the ring in his hand with a smile on his face. He is a very determined man, and that's part of why I love him.

The moral of the story? When something seems impossible, and everyone is telling you to give up... keep pressing on, you can find your ring in the sea.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Genderless: What makes a girl? What makes a boy?

I read an article about a pre-school that strives to treat the children in a genderless way, no use of the pronouns "she" or "he" or "him" or "her", and no pink vs. blue color schemes. The goal of the school is to allow the children to be who they are, without falling into gender stereotypes. This comes close after the stories broke of the couple who has a genderless baby.

I understand where this comes from, the idea of not forcing children into a rigid gender box of "girls do this, and boys do that." I don't think the problem with society is the fact that there are two gender's, but rather that those two genders have been traditionally squeezed into strict boxes.

Men and women are different. The biology of the bodies between the two are different. There is a difference between the two. We are built with different body parts from one another. Rather than pretend there is no difference between boys and girls/men and women, we should allow more room for what it means to be a part of either group. Why can't boys like pink? Why can't girls play with toy tricks?

It is the constraints that are placed on gender that is the problem, not gender identification itself.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Your Hair Idol Has a Weave

Many naturals (naturals meaning women who wear their hair natural without chemically processing it), myself included, have a habit of looking at pictures of other naturals online for hair inspiration. A majority of my tumblr is women with natural hair.

I would like to caution all the naturals out there that the hair you may be trying to emulate on your hair idol may be a weave. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with weaves, or that naturals shouldn't look at photos for inspiration, but you must be very careful that you aren't trying to obtain a look with your hair that is really faux on someone elses.

The natural hair blogosphere is always raving about Solange. I like Solange, her hair and her style are quite usually on point. But, as you can see from the photos below, taken within days of each other, her hair is not always the hair grown out of her head.

I guarantee you there are women who saw the picture to the right and thought "darn, how come my hair isn't growing as fast as Solange?" or "how come I can't get my fro' like that?" To a natural who hasn't yet gained enough confidence, or a new natural, this can be discouraging.

My caution to all my natural hair junkies out there is to be careful not to completely idolize someone else's hair, because they may be working with more than what's coming out of their roots. Work on making your hair the best it can be, not trying to make it look like someone else's.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Hot vs. Beautiful

I found myself intrigued over the weekend when I saw a commercial for the 2011 Miss USA pageant and the contestants were referenced as "The hottest women in America" vs. something like "the most beautiful."

It is the Miss USA pageant, so things are about looks, so I wouldn't expect the announcer to call them "the most intelligent women in American" (even though they are likely very intelligent) but I didn't expect them to be called "hot."

I suppose it is the connotations of the words hot/sexy vs. beautiful. To me describing a woman as "hot" is making mention of her aesthetic quality related to something of a sexual nature, while "beautiful" is somehow a more wholesome note of aesthetic attractiveness.

From my experience there is definitely a difference in the way a woman perceives a compliment if a man calls her sexy/hot vs. a man calling her beautiful.

Women, would you rather be called sexy/hot or beautiful?
To all those who find women attractive, what is the difference between "hot" and "beautiful" to you?

By the way, I have a photoblog: The Beauty of Women that showcases what I consider beautiful women.

image source

Sunday, June 19, 2011

The less you have, the more you use

First let me say that the hubby and I are comfortably living in our new home. :-D

What I noticed when I was packing was that I have a LOT of stuff, so much stuff that there were literally things (clothes, shoes, jewelry, kitchen gadgets, etc) that I hadn't touched in the two years we lived in the last place. I started to think about the fact that if I had less stuff, i'd have more of a handle on what I had, and would actually use/wear those things more.

I think the same philosophy can be attributed to a few things. One is friendships, both "real" friendships and online relationships. The smaller your group of friends, the more you are able to keep up with and actually engage with them. This is probably why many people would rather have a small amount of really good friends rather than a myriad of acquaintances.

I guess the saying 'Less is More' really does make sense. In some cases, the less you have, the more you can appreciate and utilize what you have.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

"Marvin's Room " & Disrepect for Relationships

Shall I start by saying that I am generally a mild Drake fan? Now that that is out of the way...

He released a song today, "Marvin's Room." I strongly dislike it for multiple reasons. He's "singing" for the majority of the song, and the lyrics/story are horrible to me. I seem to be the only one, on Twitter I've seen such comments as "Best song of 2011" and "This is real music." -- to each his/her own I suppose.

The gist of the story is Drake is drunk, so he's calling some girl that he knows is with a good man and making a play for her. Some lyrics:

Cups of the Rose
Bitches in my old phone
I should call one and go home
I’ve been in this club too long
The woman that I would try
Is happy with a good guy

But I’ve been drinking so much
That I’ma call her anyway and say
“F-ck that nigga that you love so bad
I know you still think about the times we had”
I say “f-ck that nigga that you think you found
And since you picked up I know he’s not around”

:-\ I dunno. I guess as a happily married woman I'm not really feeling the "get drunk and break up someone's relationship" tone of this. I'm confused as to who is out there LOVING this song? Is it people interested in a person already in a relationship? Are those the people that have it on repeate? What is it that has everyone loving this so much that it's trending on twitter?

This plays into a greater issue which is disrepect for relationships. Is no one's relationship sacred if there is someone out there who think they might be better? I'm currently going through the whole series of "The L Word" and although I'm only through about 1 and a quarter seasons, but I've noticed a trend of "I think I'm better than her current girlfriend so I'm just gonna go in for the kill." I see this on TV all the time. Is there no relationship off limits?

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