Women and pregnant women are being sold a bill of goods and those of us who try desperately to live up to the image of a balanced “supermom” fail miserably because you cannot have it all, nor can you do it all. quite simply, most of us lack the resources.I wanted another mom given opinion on the topic so I asked my boss. To me, I feel like she does a great job at work and with family, as shown through how awesomely smart and cultured her two children are. Here is her feedback on the topic:
Also, it is virtually impossible to adequately split your time between motherhood and careerhood for the simple reason that one inevitably takes precedence over the other. more often than not, moms tend to "opt out"--it's usually the case that they are driven-out-- of the more high paying positions because it requires that they put the business first. you cannot have a high-paying salary and assume that the CEO is going to be sympathetic to your childcare needs even though most companies are now trying to make it possible for women to sustain their careers. I haven’t even touched on the psychological implications of marketing this unachievable dream to women in general. Recent studies show that women on both sides are depressed because they can’t keep up with the demands of motherhood let alone, careerhood PLUS motherhood.
I think women who are not moms need to set realistic goals/expectations. Even us moms have problems managing. "Doing it all" is a media marketing narrative that isn't supposed to fit real life and so many of us get duped into believing the hype. Moms are starting to share this info more liberally than before. Previously it was a "secret society." Now we're more apt to share.
You've asked me about balance between motherhood and career and in my experience as a mother of two, IT DOESN'T EXIST! The moment I let go the ideals of fairness, balance and "achieving it all," was an absolutely freeing epiphany. I've learned the time needed for me to be the type of mother I aspire to be, has forced me to make choices and I've chosen motherhood/family above all else. My children will be young and need my undivided attention for a very short time and before I know it, they will have grown into needing my hands-on attention a little less. I've chosen to work in a family friendly environment and possibly make less money, but I'm able to be "present" physically and emotionally on a daily basis, be it for being active in our school community or having the luxury of sitting down together every night at dinner. I trust that as my children continue to thrive and grow, I will be able to claim more of my own space to explore and achieve my own aspirations.
I've always been one to point out when the media is feeding us unrealistic standards of beauty and lifestyle, but I've never thought about the role the media plays in giving women the illusion that they can "do it all" and how unattainable that really can be. I sometimes struggle with juggling my full-time job, a few side jobs, acting, being a wife and taking care of our dog, I'm sure having a child will make my plate fuller than ever. I appreciate that women can be open and honest about the fact that "balance" is an illusion. Having realistic expectation on what one can really do in the 24 hours they have for each day is so important.
I would LOVE more people's opinions on the topic. Comments please :-)