The feeling of grief is SO HUGE compared to how short the word is. It's all encompassing. Consuming. Your head spins and your brain hurts trying to contemplate actual finality. Your heart breaks. Physically it feels like a heart pinch. Like death pinches a piece of your heart off with each loss that you can never get back. It's pain, and confusion, and disbelief all wrapped into one. It's a sensation of falling that never quite goes away, you just begin to get used to it over time.