Inspired to Validate the People I Love | NESHEAHOLIC

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Inspired to Validate the People I Love



Sometime between last week and this I read the story of April Brown (pictured above). She lost both her legs and arms as a result of getting butt injections at a "pumping party." [source] Her story is tragic. The fact that she felt so unhappy with herself that she would partake in this risky procedure is tragic. The fact that she lost her limbs is tragic. The fact that women will go through dangerous lengths to lose weight, or add weight in the "right" places is tragic. 

What really stuck out to me was the quote from her regarding why she did it, and what her message is now that she's attempting to be a motivational speaker: 

”We don’t validate each other,” she said. “We really don’t know how our friends feel about us, unless we have very expressive friends.”

This pinged in my brain because she is generally right. We don't really validate each other often. Even if we admire someone's skills, appearance, work ethic, etc. how often do we really express that to each other? Now, of course, we should not NEED validation of other people to make us feel secure. Between ourselves and God there should be enough validation. AND we need to learn to be happy with the bodies we were given, and accept the things that we cannot change (in a safe manner). But there is something to be said about hearing good words from another person. 

Since reading this I've thought a lot more and tried to encourage others, whether it just be "liking" their status about a success, telling them congratulations for something, or simply telling them how beautiful they are. I'm not saying go out and make stuff up that you don't really feel, but let out the thoughts of encouragement you keep in your head about a person more often. 

Happy Wednesday. 
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11 comments

  1. Sad and True. It is important that we validate people, because we might the only one doing it.Thanks for the reminder.

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  2. This is so sad!

    LaNeshe, you make great points here :)

    It took awhile for me to realize that "patting someone else on the back", takes away nothing (personally) from me; albeit, it does take "something more" to be able to do this, doesn't it?...
    The very word "excel" means to surpass others.
    I think that is one of the biggest reasons why the "hesitation" exists to congratulate others & just express happy, positive feelings for them, in their success. I mean, who doesn't want to grow & be great at something?

    I'm not sure if I'm making much sense, so I better stop typing. LOL Very thoughtful post girlie!!!

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  3. I think we need to make a point to encourage each other. We want encouraged and maybe if we offered it to others it would come back to us. No we don't others to validate us, but the encouragement and reminder that we are valued goes a long way. We need a place and purpose. Supporting each other is important. Great write up. :)

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  4. This is really great. I agree it's crazy how much we'll do to ourselves to appear "ideal". We really should lift each other up!

    ~Sherine
    Check out my blog, comment, and follow if you like!
    Confessions Of A City Girl

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  5. Stopping by from Mingle Monday, and I just wanted to say this is a great post. I love blogs that are encouraging and real like this. :)

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  6. so incredibly sad, but such a great reminder that we need to take time to pat each other on the back for just being ourselves.

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  7. Very thought provoking post.....I definitely try to encourage others as much as possible!! Like you said I'm not going to lie to someone but if I genuinely am happy for you about something or I think you look beautiful I definitely don't hesitant to tell a person that. It is sad what women go through to feel and look beautiful all to be validated by others.

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  8. What a beautiful, amazing post. Thank you so much for sharing - I love reading these sorts of stories. Love your blog!

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  9. Thank you everyone for the feedback, I really appreciate it!

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  10. It's definitely important to get validation from
    Our loved ones. Thanks for
    Sharing this article!!

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