Being Assumptive, or Trying to Help Out? | NESHEAHOLIC

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Being Assumptive, or Trying to Help Out?

Within the past couple months two situations of similarity have happened to/around me. 

The first: Friends and I were at a pretty swanky restaurant/lounge inside a Ritz Carlton hotel. A friend of a friend ordered some shots and the waitress made sure to tell him how much the shots were. It was something absurd like $20 per shot. (I had also payed $5 for ONE cheeseburger slider...but I digress lol). The friend of the friend was offended that the waitress felt the need to tell him the price of the shots, as if she was trying to imply that he couldn't afford the shots. I personally felt that she probably just wanted to let him know that they had hiked up prices, around double of the price of a non-Ritz Carlton hotel lounge type of place. 

The second: This weekend at the grocery store. I walked up to the seafood freezer (I know, I shouldn't be buying frozen shrimp I should be buying fresh. I haven't gotten there yet lol) and the fishmonger said  "hey, you're looking for the shrimp over here, the shrimp on sale is over here." I thought, why does she think I'm looking for the sale shrimp? I'm no fool, I checked out the sale shrimp, but they weren't pealed, and I hate taking the tails off the shrimp, forget about pealing. So I went back to the other freezer and grabbed my full-priced shrimp. In my mind I questioned, is she assuming I can't afford the full price shrimp, or is she just trying to help me out?

Both cases are sticky situations, because there really is no way to truly understand someone's intentions. Are they trying to save you money, or are they assuming you don't have any?

What do you think?
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9 comments

  1. Kind of hard to tell, eh? Unless someone else was around, then you could gauge if they notify that person, too. If you're the only one being cornered in a crowded place, then you know something is beyond a 'helpful' hint.

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  2. I agree with the commentator above me: it's touch to tell.

    All in all, I think that the lady at the restaurant was trying to be helpful, and I think the fish person was either trying to assume or trying to get more people to buy the shrimp that was on sale because they were struggling so badly to.

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  3. You never really know anyone intentions when they say things like that. I've had those thought before as well in different situations. I usually roll my eyes and get what I want anyway haha. Howvever, they would have been trying to look out for you (or anyone else in that situation). I'd hate to think profiling goes all the way down to the food stocker at the grocery store.

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    1. Yea, I'd like to think that it's just someone being helpful.

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  4. In the climate of "the good ole days" it is really hard to gage. Recently, at my birthday gathering there was a waitress that kept clocking our table because she thought we were going to "dine and dash"...something I have never done. My mother raised me correctly; if you don't have the funds to leave the house, don't leave. But because we were dressed very casual in a casual environment, I could only assume that it was the color of the group that had her on alert due to her past experiences. Nonetheless, I was displeased. In terms of your encounters, it really depends on the tone in the delivery. Tone plays a huge factor on how to perceive the intention of the party in question.

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    1. I'm sorry I missed your birthday shindig! See, in that case, or instances where someone seems TOO eager to ask if you need help over and over again in a store, you can kind of tell that they are being assumptive in you having bad intentions.

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  5. In the first situation, i feel like she was just trying to give that courteous heads up. A, "Hey, this is kind of pricey. Do you really want to pay that much?". Now the second is a little tricky to me. I felt like she was implying something, but it's hard to tell without asking her outright. Though I might have said something along the lines of, "i must look like I can only afford sale shrimp" Hm.

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  6. I think they were just trying to be helpful. I don't think the waitress was trying to imply anything. Same with the fishmonger. A lot of people had probably been asking her about the sale shrimp, and she most likely assumed you were looking for it, too. I've done that sort of thing at work, assume the customer wants the sale item, when they don't. Unless it was like Liza said and they were just trying to push the sale, because it wasn't doing well. We've done that at my work (which is a grocery store).

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  7. to be honest i would not think twice about it. the small community that i live in the greeters/workers are always promoting the sales that they have. one lady told me that if she knows she can help save a family a couple of bucks then she knows that she is doing her job! i actually appreciate it because there are some sales that i miss and there are some items i get that are NEVER on sale so if the nice little old lady i always see can help me save a couple of bucks then i am appreciative.


    http://infinitelifefitness.com
    http://mscomposure.blogspot.com

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