Should women propose to men? | NESHEAHOLIC

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Should women propose to men?


The above photo has been all over my timeline today [description: a woman is down on one knee proposing to her boyfriend]. The women on my timeline are NOT having it. There are basically two camps: the ones who feel like a woman proposing to a man is indicative of her behaving "like a man" and doesn't allow her partner to be "a man"; and the ones who feel this goes hand in hand with wanting equality and women's rights. 

I don't think this comes down to challenging one's man (or womanhood) or even equality. I think it really comes down to individual relationship preferences. If she thought her proposing was a challenge to his manhood, she likely wouldn't have done it, and he wouldn't have said yes. Their relationship seems to be working out just fine for them. 

I'm annoyed when others try to push their relationship standards on to others. If a couple wants to fall into the traditional roles of the man and the wife, good for them. If they want to deviate, good for them too. This couple's relationship does not threaten anyone else's ideal of what a relationship or proposal should be. If you are a man and want to propose to your woman, find you a woman who that works for. If you are a woman and would never propose to your man, find you a man who that works for. 

Also this concept of "if a man wants to marry you he will propose to you, you shouldn't propose to him because he isn't ready" is flawed. First: there is so much pressure on proposals and engagement rings that I feel like while a lot of men are ready to make their lover their wife, they feel like they need to save for a billion dollar ring and a flash dance at Disney World for their proposal to mean something. Second: men propose to women all the time when they aren't actually ready for marriage. There isn't a difference in them being pressured to propose vs. accepting a proposal. If they aren't ready, they aren't ready regardless. 

Don't let societal pressures or norms dictate how you run your relationship. Happy Thursday!

Do you think it is appropriate for women to propose to men?
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4 comments

  1. Absolutely okay! It depends on the couple. And I think it's OK to ask. "Would you ever want to be proposed to by a woman?" Some women hold on to marital traditions. Things like weddings, engagement rings, honeymoons, things they've been thinking about their whole lives and want to live out the way they imagined them. For men one tradition might be the act of proposing. If that's something that is important to him, something he's wanted to do, I think his partner (male or female) should know that about him. If it's not important, go with the flow. Ask for and communicate what you want!

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  2. Personally, I'd rather be proposed to, but that's my want. I agree with you that it's an individual relationship thing. Do what works best for you and keep it moving

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  3. I don't know if I would propose but every couple's relationship is different and I say if it works for you then you have to do what you have to do!! Did he say yes?!

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