Mom Guilt: Day Care


Lately BabyCakes has not wanted to leave daycare when we go to pick her up. One day she had the saddest pout on when she saw me come in the door. I asked “You don’t want to go home?” and she said a very sad “no” and walked slowly to the door with her head down. She also throws a whole fit sometimes when Hubs goes to pick her up. At home she frequently repeats the names of her daycare provider and her two sons, who are her baby playmates. 


My rational mind says in a world where stories and videos come out all the time about day care neglect and abuse I can rest assured that my baby is being cared for and she is having a good time. My money is going to good use and I won’t ever feel like I need to choke the babysitter like the first babysitter we chose (that story HERE).

But my emotional mind says she likes daycare better than home, and likes her daycare provider better than us. Even though my rational mind knows that isn’t true the fact of the matter is she is with them more than us and that makes me sad. 

I’ve been really feeling the pressure lately of just not having enough time for all the things I want to do because of all the things I have to do, especially when it comes to time with my daughter. 

Our reality is that both Hubs and I have to work our 9-5 jobs and have additional pursuits outside of those jobs to give ourselves and BabyCakes a better future.  We are a very blessed family and the time we have together is wonderful. We’re blessed that her time away from us is so good to her that it can rival home. 

If you are a working mother, or just a mother who has to be away from your child(ren) more than you’d like build a mental wall to keep that mom guilt out. You are not at fault, there is no fault. Enjoy and cherish your time with your children and don’t let the time you have to spend away bring you down. There should be no guilt in providing for your family or pursuing your goals outside of family. 

3 comments

  1. While I don't have children(infertility) I have 6 fur children (dogs). I work a lot and my hubby works offshore so I always feel bad about them being home all day, not getting out of the house, etc. I can about imagine how you feel about your human baby. When my husband and I went on vacation our fur children went to "camp" for a week. My youngest (chihuahua) tried to bite me when I came back and she went straight to the camp counselor. I felt so horrible. I cried lol. Once she realized that I was taking her home, she got over her anger of me "abandoning" Her and loved me all the way home! It's good that your babycakes likes daycare! It means she is confident that you will be back to get her after work. Good job mama!

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    1. Awwww! I feel you on that too. Our pup has gotten a lot less attention since baby has been born, not to mention how long we're out of the house. I feel you!

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  2. While I don't have children(infertility) I have 6 fur children (dogs). I work a lot and my hubby works offshore so I always feel bad about them being home all day, not getting out of the house, etc. I can about imagine how you feel about your human baby. When my husband and I went on vacation our fur children went to "camp" for a week. My youngest (chihuahua) tried to bite me when I came back and she went straight to the camp counselor. I felt so horrible. I cried lol. Once she realized that I was taking her home, she got over her anger of me "abandoning" Her and loved me all the way home! It's good that your babycakes likes daycare! It means she is confident that you will be back to get her after work. Good job mama!

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