Neuticles - Testicular Implants for Dogs | NESHEAHOLIC

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Neuticles - Testicular Implants for Dogs

Now, I know this sounds like a gag April fool product, but interestingly enough, these things are real.

Neuticles are testicular prosthetic implants for neutered pets.

How did I come across this jewel of information? Well I have a coworker named Newton, and we were talking about all the the names people had given him throughout his school time (Fig, Figgy, etc. - in the spirit of FIG NEWTONS) and he said the worst one of all was "neuticles." Although the word itself sounded funny, I didn't know what they were, so he pulled up neuticles.com to show me.

Depending on the size of your dog, you can get various sizes of testes implanted:


There is even Neuticles merchandise (a baseball cap, and a barbecue apron)


WHY you would want Neuticles gear is beyond me. As you can see, their slogan is "It's Like Nothing Ever Changed."

I wonder for WHO'S benefit these things really are. Is it for the dog, so they can feel normal? Or is it for the dog owner, so that their male dog looks more "aesthetically pleasing" to them? This just seems like a strange thing to spend money on. But I've only ever had female dogs, so maybe I don't understand the complexities of a dog losing his testes.

Have you heard of Neuticles? Would you get your dog these implants after being neutered?

For your enjoyment, Neuticle earrings:
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7 comments

  1. Wow, wow, and wow. People are nuts!

    I saw stickers the other day that are meant to be placed on your dogs butt hole so you don't have to look at it.

    These people shouldn't have pets.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Neuticles are commonly used by Scam Artists who've signed an agreement to neuter a dog that was purchased by a show breeder. They re-register the dog with faulty documents and, after the dog has been neutered and has the implants placed in...proceed to show the dog to championship. What's worse is that these people go on to put the dog out for stud and make money off of his "semen" or even another dog's semen....and people don't know any different.


    Someone's purebred golden retriever...thanks to neuticles...may actually be someone's Golden Retriever x poorly bred Irish setter mix or something of that nature.

    That means 1. The owner just paid an exorbitant amount of money for a mutt that they were promised was purebred.. and 2. it opens up a whole new array of health problems to be concerned for...because each individual breed has a predisposition to something... be it macular degeneration to hip dysplasia.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Norwich Terrier lover and owner of a Champion - and I have as yet to have my dog bredMarch 2, 2011 at 8:46 AM

    Hi Anon - how do these Scam Artists re-register a dog with faulty documents?

    Anon seems to think that the entire business of showing a dog is to make money. The truth of the matter is that showing dogs usually costs way more than a breeder would ever make in return for puppies or semen. Then why do they do it? The simple answer is the love of the breed. They breed the dogs carefully selecting for the best traits hoping that some of the litter will be suitable for showing but knowing that some pets will also be the result. And if your dog's semen produced an inferior dog that looks suspiciously like an it has the traits of a poorly bred Irish Setter you can be sure that word would travel fast and that your dog's breeding days would be quickly over; it is a relatively small world within every breed and you usually see the same people at the shows who can and do talk.

    ReplyDelete
  4. HI, I was thinking of castrating our dog because he sometimes goes off on our older boxer girl. But both my hubby & I don't want to take his balls away, but I'm thinking it is the only answer. How much are they? Med to Large?

    Thanks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Check out http://www.neuticles.com/

      Delete

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