I Wasn't Ready to be a Mother to a Toddler | NESHEAHOLIC

Sunday, April 9, 2017

I Wasn't Ready to be a Mother to a Toddler

To my recollection I was a good kid. I can recall two spankings in my life - one for cursing, and one for saying our house was "ghetto." Because I was a good kid I assumed I would have a good kid. We had BabyCakes, she's a great sleeper, good eater, and says please and thank you. And then... the Terrible Twos hit.

flower nested in rocks

I suppose I should be grateful that they didn't come until 2 and a half. The tantrums, the intentional defiance, she became a tiny tornado in the house. Her daycare provider commented on her new level of noncooperation.  I had no idea what to do. Because I assumed I would just get a good kid, I hadn't deeply thought about discipline and behavior modification.

The reality is she is still a good kid,  great in fact, but I needed to step my parenting game up. Children NEED discipline, and I'd really only been intentionally disciplining about half the time. The other half I tried to placate  her to attempt to avoid a tantrum. She had been such an easy kid until 2.5 but she now needs more discipline and more structure. The toddler  years are really all about them exploring their boundaries, and if you let them, they will push you to the edge.

I've re-calibrated, and I'm putting more intentional effort into behavior management and I feel like I already see a change. I also picked up the parenting book (affiliate link) 1-2-3 Magic which was recommended by a lot of moms and I'm looking forward to reading it.

This is just one of many times I've wondered if I'm doing any of this motherhood thing right, and it surely won't be the last. Motherhood doesn't come with a manual and every child is different. I may not always know what's right but I'll always do the best I can to take care of BabyCakes and that's all I can do!



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14 comments

  1. Just the fact that you're willing to work on it shows that you are a great parent:)

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  2. Charlie's "terrible twos" have only just started coming out, too. I sometimes feel so badly for him because he just has SO MANY FEELINGS and has no clue how to regulate his emotions. The moments that I can put myself in his shoes and try to imagine what he's experiencing, I can handle it. But then yeah... sometimes I do NOT have the patience for his shenanigans.

    Sometimes I just have to put him in his room with the door closed until we can both calm down. That's usually all the discipline he requires. But man, sometimes that whining and tantruming reeeeally starts to get to you.

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    1. They are just so particular at his age! When I figure out a way of avoiding a tantrum it's like a Rubik's Cube lol Like - she has to hold her cup when you're pouring water into it, and she has to climb into the car and the carseat by herself lol

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  3. I think every stage of motherhood catches us by surprise! I wasn't ready to be the mom to teenagers, yet here I am, making it up as I go along! I bet you're an amazing mama!

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    1. Thank you! Yea, there's really nothing you can do but make it up and keep on trucking lol

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  4. Girl, I don't think any of u were ready lol. My little threenager can work a nerve! But I am hearing that they are a little calmer at 4 years old.

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    1. Yea I keep hearing that three is still hard, but at 4 they calm down lol. ::crosses fingers::

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  5. Toddler-hood is rough for all of us. Just know your not alone!! All three of mine were different in the terrible 2s and then the 3s hit and WHAM!! even worse lol Good Luck momma!!

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  6. My husband and I don't have kids yet-but the discussion is starting and so I'm reading up on all this parenting stuff that I can. From the sounds of it, you're an awesome parent for me to follow along with because you seem to know just what to do for your daughter!

    xoxo, SS

    Southern And Style

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    1. Thanks! Please follow along, you can learn from my mistakes lol

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  7. I never read 1-2-3 magic, but was told about it and use the concept - it really is magic! The great thing about age 2 is how quickly they learn the consequence . . .really. I had to put my son and the little boy I watched in time-out only once or twice before they started running to listen and obey by number 2! It really does work!

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